As parents, one of your most important roles is to support your child’s emotional well-being. Learning how to talk to your child about mental health is crucial, but can be challenging. You might not know how to approach these discussions in a way that your child can understand and appreciate.
Children grow and change rapidly, and their understanding of the world evolves as they do. Understanding these developmental stages helps you tailor your conversations about mental health to be more effective.
This blog will guide you through age-appropriate strategies for discussing mental health with children at three key stages: early childhood, middle childhood, and adolescence.
Early childhood (Ages 3-6)
During early childhood, children are just beginning to understand their emotions. They experience feelings intensely but may not have the words to express them. At this stage, they learn best through play and simple, concrete concepts.
Communication strategies
- Use simple language: Use words they understand. Explain emotions in terms of happy, sad, mad, and scared. For example, “It’s okay to feel sad when your toy breaks.”
- Utilize stories and characters: Use their favorite storybook characters to explain emotions. “Remember how Winnie the Pooh feels sad when he can’t find honey? It’s okay to feel that way sometimes.”
- Encourage expression through play and art: Let them draw or play with toys to express how they feel. Ask, “Can you show me how you feel with your toys?”
Practical tips
To effectively support your young child’s mental health, it’s essential to be a role model by demonstrating how to handle emotions constructively. For example, you might say, “Mommy feels sad today, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
Creating a safe environment where they feel secure expressing any emotion without fear is also crucial; reassure them by saying, “It’s okay to cry. I’m here with you.”
Additionally, validating their feelings without judgment helps them feel understood and supported. When they are upset, acknowledge their emotions by saying, “I see you’re upset because your friend took your toy. It’s okay to feel that way.”
Middle childhood (Ages 7-12)
Children in this age group start to grasp more complex emotions. They are more aware of the feelings of others and begin to understand mental health concepts more deeply.
Communication strategies
- Provide clear explanations: Explain emotions and mental health issues in clear, straightforward terms. “Sometimes, people feel worried a lot, and it’s called anxiety.”
- Use relatable examples: Use situations they encounter daily. “Remember how you felt nervous before the school play? That’s anxiety.”
- Encourage questions: Invite them to ask questions and be patient with their curiosity. “Do you have any questions about why you felt that way?”
Practical tips
Normalizing conversations about mental health is vital for children in middle childhood. Make it a regular part of your discussions by saying, “It’s normal to feel different emotions, just like we talk about our day.”
Encourage them to develop healthy coping mechanisms by sharing what helps you, such as, “When I feel stressed, I like to go for a walk. What helps you feel better?”
Being observant of changes in behavior or mood is also essential. If they seem withdrawn or unusually irritable, gently approach the topic by saying, “I noticed you’ve been quiet lately. Is there something on your mind?”
Adolescence (Ages 13-18)
Teenagers face more complex emotional challenges as they seek independence. They are more capable of understanding mental health in a broader context but might be reluctant to talk about it.
Communication strategies
- Foster open communication: Let them know it’s safe to talk about anything. “I’m here to listen whenever you want to talk.”
- Respect their independence: Give them space while offering support. “I trust you to handle this, but remember I’m here if you need me.”
- Discuss in context: Relate mental health to their daily lives. “School stress can be overwhelming. How are you managing it?”
Practical tips
Encouraging self-awareness in teenagers helps them recognize their feelings and triggers. Suggest keeping a journal to help them understand their emotions better, saying, “Keeping a journal might help you understand your emotions better.”
While it’s important to be supportive, avoid prying into their lives. If you notice they seem down, approach the topic gently, “I noticed you’ve been down. If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
Providing resources for additional support can also be beneficial. Offer information on where they can get help, saying, “Here are some websites and hotlines if you ever want to talk to someone else.”
9 general tips for all ages
1. Model healthy behaviors
Children learn by watching you. Show them how you manage stress and emotions healthily. If they see you practicing self-care and handling your emotions well, they’re more likely to adopt those behaviors.
For example, if you feel overwhelmed, you might say, “I’m feeling stressed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths and then go for a short walk.” This not only shows them a healthy coping mechanism but also normalizes the idea that everyone experiences stress and that it’s okay to take steps to manage it.
2. Be approachable and non-judgmental
Create an environment where your child feels safe to talk about their feelings. Avoid reacting with shock or disapproval. Instead, listen calmly and offer support. “I’m glad you told me this. Let’s figure it out together.”
Being approachable means being available when your child wants to talk. It also means being non-judgmental when they share their feelings or experiences with you. For instance, if your teenager confides that they’re feeling anxious about school, instead of saying, “You have nothing to be anxious about,” you could say, “I understand that school can be stressful. What do you think would help you feel better?”
3. Consistent check-ins
Regularly check in on your child’s mental health. Make it a routine part of your conversations. “How have you been feeling lately?” This helps them see mental health as a normal topic of discussion.
Consistent check-ins can be casual and integrated into daily routines. For example, during dinner, you might ask, “What was the best part of your day?” and follow up with, “Was there anything that made you feel upset or worried?”
These check-ins help your child become more comfortable discussing their emotions and can provide valuable insights into their mental state.
4. Encouraging emotional vocabulary
From a young age, help your child develop a rich emotional vocabulary. The more words they have to describe their feelings, the better they’ll be able to express themselves.
Use a variety of words to describe emotions, such as frustrated, anxious, elated, and disappointed. Play games that involve naming emotions or use emotion cards to make learning fun and interactive.
5. Promoting empathy
Teach your child to understand and empathize with others’ feelings. Discuss different scenarios and ask them how they think someone might feel in that situation. For example, “How do you think your friend felt when they lost their toy?”
Promoting empathy helps children build stronger relationships and fosters a deeper understanding of their own emotions.
6. Creating a routine
Establish a daily routine that includes time for relaxation and reflection. This could be as simple as a nightly bedtime routine where you talk about the day and share feelings.
Routines provide stability and predictability, which can be very comforting for children and help them manage their emotions better.
7. Encouraging physical activity
Physical activity is a great way to manage stress and improve mood. Encourage your child to engage in regular physical activities they enjoy, whether it’s playing sports, dancing, or just running around in the park. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help reduce anxiety and depression.
8. Limiting screen time
Monitor and limit your child’s screen time, as excessive use of screens can impact their mental health. Encourage activities that promote physical and mental engagement, such as reading, outdoor play, and creative hobbies.
Discuss the importance of balance and help them set healthy boundaries with technology.
9. Seeking professional help
If you notice significant changes in your child’s behavior or mood, or if they seem to be struggling with their mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
A mental health professional can provide the support and guidance your child needs to navigate their challenges. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Final thoughts on how to talk to your child about mental health
Talking to your child about mental health is a vital part of their overall well-being. By understanding their developmental stage and using appropriate strategies, you can help them navigate their emotions and build resilience. Remember, it’s a journey, and it’s okay to look for help along the way.
Encourage your children to express their feelings and reassure them that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions. Start these conversations today and continue them as they grow.
Remember, the goal is not to have all the answers but to create an open line of communication where your child feels safe and supported. This foundation will help them develop a healthy approach to managing their mental health throughout their lives.
